(Notes from the book, “The Tender Warrior” by Stu Weber.)

One of the most common problems of men is how to be relational. It is typical for a man to project himself as someone invulnerable when reality is, he also has feelings.

Have you seen a man bite his lips to keep himself from crying or even walk out of the room just because he doesn’t want to be seen crying? Do you know someone who is like that?

Just like Jesus, the greatest Teacher who ever lived, and who still lives, he wept in front of a crowd (John 11:35). Incidentally, this phrase is famous for being the shortest verse in the Bible.

By Jesus’ example, Men, it’s okay to cry. Men, it’s okay to open up. Men, you are created by God to be a leader. Men, you are a king, warrior, mentor and friend, all rolled into one. And by these titles, you have to have the capacity to relate.

So in this light, the gist of the book shows us the four cornerstones of what makes a tender warrior or a real man from God’s perspectives.

The four (4) Pillars of Manhood:


THE HEART OF THE KING is a provisionary heart. The king looks ahead, watches over, and provides order, mercy and justice. He is the authority. He is the leader.  The king in a man is “under orders” from a higher Authority.


THE HEART OF THE WARRIOR is a protective heart. The warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards. A warrior is one who possesses high moral standards, and holds to high principles. He is willing to live by them, stand for them, spend himself in them, and if necessary, die for them.


THE HEART OF THE MENTOR is a teaching heart. The mentor knows. He wants others to know.  He models, explains, and trains. He disciples – first his wife and kids, then others. He has a spiritual heart.


THE HEART OF THE FRIEND is a loving heart. It is a care-giving heart. Passionate, yes. But more: Compassionate (“I will be with you”). The friend in a man is a commitment-maker. And a promise-keeper. His is the “energy that connects men to others and to the world”.

Men, do you want to possess these qualities? It starts with the Word of God. If you have a problem understanding reading it, you can join Bible studies. Better yet, join a small group in any Bible-believing church. I have my own small group at Victory Greenhills (Manila, Philippines).

You cannot achieve all these overnight. It’s a process. But it starts with your heart.  And God sees it if you have this sincere desire to change. If you have this desire to be a real man, you have to join a local Bible-believing church so that you can grow and become the person God wants you to be.

Men, it is God’s intention for you to possess the heart of a king, warrior, mentor and friend. For that, after all is the embodiment of the heart of Jesus Christ, the One whom God the Father sent into this world to die for our sins, so that we can have eternal life.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s