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Here is a compilation of notes (nuggets of wisdom) I gathered from attending Worship Services and other events last February in Victory Greenhills (4F Virra Mall).

In Genesis 2:18 (NIV) – The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”  (Singles, God does not want you to be alone)

I guess you’ve heard this line before: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Exactly, because

1. Men and women are created differently.

For example,

With men, they care about shoe boxes, headlines, solutions and shared experiences.

But for women, it’s all about handbags, details, relationships, shared emotions.

2. Here’s another difference between men and women. The way we define Love is different.

How do we view Love or Lust? Sometimes, we get mixed up. We thought we feel we love somebody when it is lust we felt for the other person. Happens to most men actually, if not all.

Love benefit Others. Lust benefit Self. (Loving is giving of yourself. But lusting for others is wishing what you can get from others.)

What do we really feel? Is it Love or Like? Where do we draw the line? How do we know if we like or love the person?

Love is more than a feeling. It’s a decision. (Oftentimes, we thought we are loving that person when actually, we are just liking that person)

The thing is, we are attracted to Personality but we will live with Character.

Therefore, find someone who loves God more than you. (Because that person will love you the way God loves him/her)

More advices for Singles:

Have a heart that follows God vs. Follow your Heart (Choose the former, not the latter)

For Spiritual Foundation is the best foundation for all in any God-given relationship.

And when you get into a relationship, to build a lasting relationship, love what they want, not what you want.

3. God’s way is different.

The typical boy-meets-girl scenario nowadays is by dating.

But Singles, here’s a trivia for you:

Dating is not found in the Scriptures. It is a 20th Century idea. And from this idea was born the culture of dating. It was hyped in the movies, promoted esp. in the month of February, and taken advantage by business establishments (movies, concerts, fine dining restaurants, shopping,etc.) until it became a part of our culture. As they say, Romance is in the air.

Now if you will look at the Bible, it says:

Romans 12:2

New International Version (©1984)

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

New Living Translation (©2007)

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

One example is how people view sex. Sex is prevalent even outside of marriages. You often hear people dating and after a while, they end up in bed and when that happens, the girl felt betrayed when the guy leaves her for another girl. This really paints a bad picture about Sex. But Sex is not wrong within the boundaries of marriage.

Why do some women give up their virginity easily only to end up as victims in the end? Because to some women, they thought that it would complete the other guy and in the process, it would complete them also.

Sadly, that’s the Biggest Lie – “You complete me!”. Hence, you give in just to satisfy the other and hope that the other will stay with you forever.

In a relationship, every person has two basic needs:

1. Security – Am I Loved?

2. Significance – Do I matter?

The world offers every partner you can get to fill your needs but only Christ can complete you.

You don’t need someone to complete you because you are already complete in Christ when you have surrendered your life to Him and let Him take control of your life to make you become the person He wants you to be.

As the great French philosopher, Blaise Pascal, aptly puts it: “There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person, and it can never be filled by any created thing. It can only be filled by God, made known through Jesus Christ.”

***

Singlehood is a blessing to some (no commitments, no responsibilities) while others view it as a burden because some feel the pressures of kowtowing to the pattern of the world like hearing the oft-repeated statements from well-intentioned relatives and friends like “Mag-asawa ka na” (Get married asap!), “Mag-asawa ka na habang bata ka pa” (Marry while still young), “Mag-asawa ka na para may mag-alaga sa yo” (Marry so that someone will take care of you when you get old.).

How about you? Do you get the feeling sometimes na  “napag-iwanan ka na?” (feeling of being left behind and there’s no more available one for you?).

I heard those lines before and have even experienced those feelings before. In other words, it’s not easy. Nakaka-stress pa nga isipin (stressful to think about it) esp when you see your nephews and nieces getting married ahead of you! LOL.

But singlehood is a destiny. It is never a curse. As the apostle Paul said, “Now to the unmarried and the widows, I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9). The apostle Paul considered his state of singleness to be a special gift given to him by God. This gift enabled him to devote himself more fully to “the Lord’s affairs.” (NIV Topical Study Bible).

Are you wired to be single all your life? Only God knows. As for me, I still have this desire to settle down someday. And it is my prayer that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28).

Yes, I am still single but thanks be to God for His promise: “… Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

I claim that promise, in Jesus’ name.

In the meantime, I’m glad I can devote more time to “the Lord’s affairs”.

(Ronnie Reyes is a volunteer at Kid’s Church, Victory Greenhills. Visit his site at http://ronniereyes.ph)

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